The Conjuring (2013)

I cannot believe that people actually hold this up as one of the all-time great horror movies. You're telling me you were scared by the clapper ghost trying to turn the lights on?!

Not only did I find this film not scary, it couldn't even have the grace of just being boring. For those who don't know, I am agnostic and the child of two pagans. Normally this doesn't affect my opinion of films but these Warrens really peeve me off. Having to listen to two dinguses paint all witches as evil Satanists, and spirits as demons, and treat every belief they have as objective fact for two hours is beyond grating. I know it's a trope to have the religious character battle the ghost, but it never bothered me in the Exorcist so I can only blame poor writing on the part of this film.

I will NEVER understand this film praise and I don't really want to.

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